Heading Home

I had never been away from home for such a long time. 

It had been three years that I had been travelling all across the country; trying to find the answers to long forgotten questions. The questions no longer mattered now, it was the answers that I had stumbled upon. It was things that nobody else wanted to know about. 

It was beginning to rain and I waited by the side of the highway for the next truck that would take me homewards. 

The feelings of familiarity were coming back in slow waves lapping over the shore of my memories, of a past and a place I knew so well. 

Everything that I had left behind when I embarked on my quest, now welcomed me back. I was happy and even looking forward to it. 

I didn’t have many stories to tell, although I had met some fascinating people. These could be interesting stories if I was being honest, and they would be good over a few drinks, but the next day everybody would have forgotten them under the cloud of a hangover. 

This had always been my problem, not finding enough people to engage with who were fascinated with life and the human condition. 

Life was a ball and chain to most people, and that was a hard fact. Making a living, providing for their families, eating, drinking, shopping, sex, taking time to rest, and back to the grind on Monday. 

This was life at its best for some. The others did drugs and discussed existence and lived off anybody who would support them. 

Could I be the one to tell them that we had the gift of life for a higher purpose? It would be crazy, if for some reason they actually believed me. Oh that would be a hoot! 

All of us will seek only what we are supposed to find, and that is what I have come to believe. 

The law of existence is that you will only get what you want. And whose fault is it if we only want pebbles instead of diamonds? Life has to mean something to you if you truly want to understand it. Unless that happens, life will continue as a charade, living the same dream, endlessly. 

It is not something that you have to do that makes you want to understand life, but the sheer disillusionment from living an illusion that will make you seek the answers. And the answers will come when you are not expecting them in the least. It is like finding money in an old pair of pants, only a lot more fulfilling. 

To get to this would need us to let go of all concepts of life that we hold dear. To ask for directions from somebody who has never left home is indeed a fool’s gambit. To know the Truth, one must learn from him who is one with it. 

I looked at an approaching truck and it slowed down and I pulled myself up and got into it. I sat in a dreamlike stupor like one who knows he is going back home after having had a glimpse into his future. It had not been an uneventful journey.

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